Submissive in Hiding

I was hanging out with a couple of guy friends recently. One of them is dating a girl for the first time and lost his virginity last month! Go him! However, all throughout dinner, he was complaining about a fight they were having. Apparently, he had to help a friend out and postponed meeting up with her. So, when she wasn’t at their predetermined dinner spot, he obviously got upset. She told him she went to have dinner with friends and felt she didn’t have to text him that her plans had changed and he didn’t have to know where she was all the time.

When I first heard this story, I was thinking, “She is a complete bitch.” But then I realized that I used to do similar things to my first boyfriend towards the end of our relationship. I wouldn’t ever not show up at a meeting place. But I would annoy him and argue with him and see how far I could push him. I constantly antagonized him and tried to get him to stand up for himself and stop taking my bullshit. But, he was very submissive. And it drove me crazy. I think I only got him to fight back once or twice. And when he did, I was very quick to stand down. I only recently figured out what I had been doing with him. I needed a Dom (although at the time I didn’t know it) and I was trying to get him to be more assertive. In the end, he did stand up for himself by breaking up with me! So at least he could do that much.

It makes me wonder how many of the girls who constantly argue with their boyfriends are actually submissives who haven’t come out yet.


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