Aesthetics

Two posts in one day? I guess my mind is a little busy tonight. But more likely it’s because I have a paper I’m supposed to be writing and I tend to procrastinate….

It’s a good thing I asked about whether or not He likes inflicting pain. He said it’s not that He’s adverse to bruising me, but that it may not be aesthetically pleasing to Him. I love to admire bruises on myself when they’re given to me by my Dom. I like to have a hard time sitting the next day. Every wince is a reminder of what happened the day before and of my submission. It makes me feel closer to Him. I may have to think of other means to feel that way without the bruises. For example, one rule I follow is that I have to masturbate to the edge of orgasm twice in the morning and twice before bed. Being someone who doesn’t usually masturbate more than a few times a week, I find it interesting. It’s only difficult the day after I see Him because at that point I’m exhausted and sated and have a hard time becoming aroused enough to come close to orgasming. I should bring up other physical things that will help Him feel like my Dom and help me feel submissive. I know there are plenty of mental/emotional ways to serve, but in terms of physical, maybe more bondage and less spanking? I suppose I’m just not used to being without bruises…


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