Maybe?

It’s been about a week since I offered my submission to this man. I’m afraid to write about it because I have this paranoia that things will go pear shaped if I actually put words to it and express my feelings. I’m also a little afraid that He may not be enjoying Himself as much as I am, but haven’t really asked Him about it yet. That’s probably just my insecurities rearing their ugly heads. All of His D/s experiences have been online, so the physical aspect of it is a little different. Giving a spanking is new to Him as is having a girl who really gets off on choking. He says He likes to see my reactions when I’m being spanked, but I guess He’s not as sadistic as the men I’m used to. For example, last night He was spanking me and seemed concerned that my butt was getting red. I enjoy being spanked so hard that I’m bruised for a week. I think I have to remind Him of that. However, the physical aspect isn’t as important to me as the power exchange itself. And He likes to play games. This part is new to me like the physical part is new to Him. My first Dom was sadistic. He loved to see me in pain. But He couldn’t give me the structure I needed to fully submit. This new Dom is providing that. Although His tasks and games drive me insane, I love it. It makes me feel submissive and as if I really am giving myself to Him mentally and physically. I’m excited to see where this goes and how much I grow in my submission.


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