Frustrated

I asked Sir what He would like me to call Him in my blog. He responded with ‘O Captain, My Captain’ or ‘My Lord and Master’. I’m very tempted to use Captain…I think I’ll interchange Captain and Sir depending on my mood.

This rule I have of masturbating to the edge of orgasm twice in the morning and twice before bed is starting to get to me. It wouldn’t be as bad if I could touch Him more and kiss Him more. A couple of nights ago I went to His place to watch a movie. He told me to take my shirt and bra off so He could experiment with something. Tying my wrists together, He hung the rope from a hook on the wall. Because of my height, it was a bit of a stretch for me and slightly uncomfortable. I felt exposed and a little vulnerable and my brain started to become foggy from my need for Him to touch me. Just to gently pinch my nipples, or run His hand along my neck, or choke me and make my panties even wetter. After only a minute of feeling His tongue on my nipples, He untied me and told me to put my bra and shirt back on. I struggled with that task. I did not want to at all.

And He didn’t touch me again like that until well after the movie was done. But that wasn’t the part that hurt me. It was the fact that He hadn’t kissed me since I’d gotten to His place. Once the movie was done I started to touch Him as much as I could without actually jumping Him and tearing His clothes off. And still nothing from Him. Finally He let me kneel for Him. The kneeling position He likes is a new one for me. I sit on my heels with my knees apart and my hands behind my head. I prefer the other position of knees together and hands resting on them because it’s easier to stay there longer. However, this form of kneeling keeps me more attentive. All of the frustrations of earlier this week and the hurt of not being kissed melted into the background and my brain centered. That’s why I love to kneel before Sir. I become more focused on Him and what He wants and my desires become white noise. Then He started rubbing my clit. I wanted to cry with how much I was restraining myself. Soon after I was allowed to service His cock. I adore sucking cock. It never fails to get me wet and to ache even more, which I didn’t think was possible at that point. And finally finally finally He gave me what I desperately needed: to feel His cock stretching me and His body over me and surrounding me. Unfortunately, the earlier frustration of not being kissed and feeling unwanted resurfaced and I had a hard time staying in the moment. I don’t know how to not be needy with my Dom. I have to throw myself into it in order to serve. It’s hard to stay a little distanced in the beginning of this sort of relationship. My submission makes me very dependent on my Dom and I need some sort of feedback from Him. I feel lost. I need to talk to Him about how He feels with the progress so far and what He wants to change and what He thinks is working.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>